Where is the Love?

Well, I've been unemployed for 10 months now.  Though I'm not starving, there's still something inside me that's missing.  I just cannot point to it.  My previous employer did not let go of me, they would have preferred for me to stay a little bit, but it was time to leave and move on.  Sometimes I regret the decision.  Other times I feel good that I made up my mind.  Comparing my life now and before when I have that job, I see just a little difference.  Only now is better... knowing that somebody is really enjoying my company!

I've been wondering if that something that I feel is missing inside me is to have a real job.  You know that thing - you wake up every morning, get ready and actually know what you need to do for the day.  I have been applying to all the jobs that makes me feel like the job description really fits me and I know deep in my heart that I can do it but, I've been doing it for 8 months and still, I got no offer.  I have been to 8 interviews (yes, I have a record!) which all seem promising to me, but then again, I was always wrong because after a week or two, I get an email thanking me for the time I spent to meet with them and urging me to just keep on applying to their job openings.

I hate to think that the reason why I am not getting hired in this area is because of my color, which reminds me of what Curt Harlow was stressing out while he was talking to us last December which I summarize it to something like this: "white people will verbally say they are not against any race, but deep in their hearts, they are screaming against any other color."  I don't want to believe it but as a human being, I can't deny the fact that I am currently experiencing what he had just said at that conference.  I'm actually beginning to think that I just probably got called in for interview because my name sounds like a white girl after carrying my husbands' last name.  Reality hurts.

Anyhow, I still believe that God is working in His mysterious ways.  I believe He has reasons why He don't let the door open yet. I trust in Him. He has better plans for me. I firmly believe that He wants me to prosper...I just have to wait and keep the faith because everything happens according to His timeline.

:-)